I’m Mind F&*king You Right NOW

23 Aug

Eating at maintenance calories is, as Diddy would say, a total mind fuck.

After spending so many years meticulously counting calories, making sure I never go over 13oo/1400 calories, the prospect of eating a whopping 1900 calories was extremely exciting at first.  YES!  MOAR FOOD WILL GIVE ME STRENGTH AND ENERGY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

And then it was daunting and overwhelming.  I found it hard to eat all of my meals and was even leaving food on my plate (GASP!).

Now, it’ just damn confusing.  I’m eating all of my food (although sometimes  it takes me an hour or more to finish a meal) but I’m still hungry.  I feel like I could literally be munching on something for 24 hours straight.  I’m a hungry beast, I’m ravenous, I’d eat your face if you let me.   Some say this is due to an accelerated metabolism but I don’t know if that is just bro-science.  Whatever it is, it’s messing with my head.

Also, there is the fact that the numbers on the scales are all over the place.  Losing, gaining, losing, gaining – I should just throw the damn things out but I’m also fretting the measuring tape as my mind is telling me, “You’re eating so much food, surely you’ve gained centimetres!  All your hard work is coming undone!”.

It’s stupid and lame and I HATE having these thoughts.  I now think that losing weight is the easy part, it’s maintaining or gaining strength that is the hard part.  When you’re losing weight it’s just a matter of following the program and if you follow it right, you will see results.  At the stage I am at now, trying to increase lean muscle mass, it’s hard to envision that there will be results at the end of all this as all I can think about is all the damn food I am eating!

I’m not sure if any of this is making sense to you guys, feel free to call me a lunatic, but all I know if I can’t wait until this recomp phase is over and I can start cutting to reveal the sexy, lean muscle that I hope I am building underneath the bulk!

So, usually I would have taken some updated bikini pics by now but I am still getting used to my new eating and exercise program so I’m going to hold off for a few more weeks.  I did take a couple of pics the other night though to gauge where I am at.

Now I just need to switch of and allow my body to do what it needs to do.  All I have to do is train hard, fuel my body and allow recovery and everything will fall into place… *breathe*

Have you lost weight and are now at maintenance stage?  How did you adjust?

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11 Responses to “I’m Mind F&*king You Right NOW”

  1. Natalie August 23, 2011 at 6:22 pm #

    I’m a small person because I lost a lot of weight earlier in the year and for the past 3 months I have been trying to gain muscle. It’s HARD! I’ve gained 3kgs and put on 1-2cms everywhere, but my body fat % has dropped dramatically. It’s so hard not to look at scales..

    PS. I eat about 2000 calories a day, if that makes you feel any better, and I am always hungry.

    • Amanda August 24, 2011 at 9:14 am #

      Haha oh is it bad to say that that does make me feel better? 😉

      Nice progress Nat! Doing well! 🙂

  2. Teeny August 24, 2011 at 9:54 am #

    Check out those guns! You look so fit and healthy! xo

    • Amanda August 24, 2011 at 2:39 pm #

      Thanks Teeny! 🙂

  3. V August 24, 2011 at 2:39 pm #

    You look incredible! 🙂

  4. callie August 25, 2011 at 6:52 pm #

    Totally get how your feeling Amanda!! I think we got similar recommendations from the dexascan!! I am eating about 1600 calories which is hard when I used to eat as little as possible and survive and exercise as much as possible and now I have to train less and eat more seems hard for my mind to understand 🙂

    • Amanda August 26, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

      Haha YAY! I’m not loco! 😀

  5. Alex August 29, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    i had the same problem! but i realised i was focusing too much (read: all day) on my weight/measurements/fitness. its an obsession like any other and you need to divert your attention else where.
    ever thought of doing a hobby? dancing, yoga, painting…anything?
    my uni studies takes my focus off my weight/measurements and it really allows me to have some perspective on life.
    i cant wait to be a personal trainer but i dont want every part of my existance to be about that.

    hope this helps!

    • Amanda August 31, 2011 at 10:29 am #

      Hi Alex! I prefer not to think of it as obsession but more dedication. I really don’t think I’m unhealthy obsessed, I just have a goal and a strong determination to reach it! I often take time out and treat myself to massages, long hot spa baths, manicures and the like. The only thing that was making me a little mental was the eating! So much eating! Haha but I’ve come to grips with it now. 🙂

      • Alex August 31, 2011 at 11:31 am #

        thats good to hear. it became more of an obsession for me, thinking about it ALL the time, so im glad to hear your not in the same boat i was.
        love the way you treat yourself! i should try a massage more often!!
        glad to hear your getting used to eating like a horse!!

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