My Name is Amanda… And I’m a Binge Drinker

15 Aug

There’s been a few things that have oppened my eyes lately to the affects of binge drinking.  I’ve been seeing a lot of articles in magazines and shows on TV lately on the topic.  I don’t know if binge drinking has always been highlighted and I chose to ignore it or if it’s only just now getting public focus.  But in either case I really feel it’s time I own up to my destructive behaviour and address it.

Before I go on, I’d like to say that this post was quite hard for me to write.  Addressing your flaws is always difficult.  But I really want to make improvements to myself therefore I’ve got to wake up and smell the coffee (or the booze, so to speak).

Wikipedia defines binge drinking as:

“…the modern definition of drinking alcoholic beverages with the primary intention of becoming intoxicated by heavy consumption of alcohol over a short period of time.”

Okay, yep, been there done that.  Who hasn’t?  And truth be told I used to very much enjoy doing it but the last few times that I went and had a big drinking session I’ve noticed things about myself that I really don’t like, actually, no, not just don’t like, but detest.

Deep breath… one… two… three… Okay here we go.  If I have had too much to drink I can become rude and obnoxious.  I can easily say hurtful and spiteful things to people I care about.  I put myself and others in danger by acting thoughtlessly.  I wake up with enormous and overwhelming feelings of regret and often I feel exhausted, anxious and depressed for days afterwards. I’m also a control freak so I feel guilty that I once again lost control and let the alcohol take over me.

That one session of binge drinking also makes my skin awful and I feel bloated for days.  Not the best feeling when I’m on the weight loss path!

Since focusing more on my health and fitness I have not had the same amout of binge drinking sessions as I would have in the past (every week!) and I have found when I do have a few drinks, the alcohol affects me much quicker than what it used to.  I could probably drink up to 15 units on a night out and still be able to function (though only just) but now I have 4 glasses of wine and I’m like, “Woah! Well, that’s enough for me I think!”.

But even though I have been focusing on not drinking so much on a night out (I have switched to light beer – shock horror!), I still get this niggling little voice that says, “Stuff it all – let’s get REALLY drunk”.

For instance, I went to work drinks on Friday and had 2 light beers with my colleagues.  I knew I had to run in the morning but there was so much temptation to ditch the running and just continue drinking.  There was a time when I would have easily done that.  Easily.  But I knew I had made a commitment to myself and if I had continued to drink I would have been so disappointed and once again experienced all of the awful things that I noted above.

So… I’m learning and I’m making progress.  I’m not saying that I’m going to give up drinking (god forbid!  A world without wine would be a sad world indeed), I’m just saying that I’m going to continue to focus on not drinking too excess.

Goodbye to awful, mean, ugly, drunk Amanda and hello to the new Amanda – the Amanda who can still carry on witty conversations whilst sipping daintily on a nice Sav Blanc, doesn’t carry on like a lunatic and is able to say, “No more for me thank you, I’ve had enough”.

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5 Responses to “My Name is Amanda… And I’m a Binge Drinker”

  1. Lisa September 8, 2010 at 2:09 pm #

    I think we can all relate to this post. Drinking is social. If you have a social anxiety or anxiety in general–sometimes it’s just easier to drink and have fun than over-analyze.

    Losing weight and learning to be healthy really helped me a lot. I stopped drinking blindly in all social situations. Now, I drink when I want to have some really good wine…Or I just have 1 glass with dinner.

    • Amanda September 8, 2010 at 2:17 pm #

      I think you are so right. And it’s all about moderation. I no longer drink to get drunk and that is a huge win for me.

  2. Robby October 3, 2010 at 12:15 am #

    I very much identify with this post.

    I think at some point you decide that your health and how you feel about yourself feels more important than escaping life. I mean, because that’s what it is. People drink to get drunk to either distance themselves from life or forget who they are.

    I very much love who I am sober. I am strong and beautiful when she’s steering the ship.

    So i’ll have a glass or two, but when i feel her disappearing, I stop.

    • Amanda October 3, 2010 at 9:37 am #

      Thanks for the comment Robby and I’m glad you feel the same way! 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I Did It! « Me vs. The Bulge - September 20, 2010

    […] more than tipsy!) and I so badly wanted to chill with my friends and enjoy a couple of light beers (because that’s how I roll now, remember?).  But as the night wore on I realised that I could have the same amount of fun being sober and […]

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